Hank Needs A Hug. And Lots of Liquor.

Monday, April 19, 2010

From Hendrick Henrik Lunquist Lundqvist Lundkist

What does Hank have to do to get this year going right for him?

First it was the Olympics where Sweden's Tre Kroner got kicked out early. The previous Olympics they won gold with Hank's amazing goldtending.

Then the New York Rangers didn't make the playoffs. Every year that Hank has been pro, all 9 of them, he's made the playoffs. But not this year.

And now the Vezina trophy finalists were announced today, and Hank is not one of them. WTF.

From Hendrick Henrik Lunquist Lundqvist Lundkist

Hank needs a break from hockey. His eyes are starting to resemble pucks. Ok that was lame, but this picture was too cute not to use.

I think Hank needs to take out his little voodoo doll and get to work. And the bobble head doll of Sidney Crosby. Stick pins in them, light them on fire, throw them off your terrace. I'm not sure if voodoo will work for a Swede, but it can't hurt right? If that doesn't work, call down the Norse Viking god Odin, the god of war. That should do something.

If all else fails, kick back in your hot tub and let lose with some Absolut and do positive visualization. Visualize yourself beating the crap out of Sather and Torts. That should do wonders!

Hank has bent over backwards for his teams. :( He deserves at least a couple bottles of Jack Daniels in a care basket from his fans.


Carol said...

Very disappointing. But the stats of the 3 nominees did look really good. Henrik was very close though. I don't like Brodeur, but I kind of like Bryzgalov and really like Miller. So I'd like for either of them to win it. Hugs to you, Henrik. Better luck next season!! (I hope he can relax in the off-season and take it easy and not beat himself up.)

christine said...

Yeah I strongly dislike Brodeaur. I love it that Sean Avery calls him Fatso. The only reason Brodeur catches the puck is because he mistakes it for a hostess cupcake.

Carol said...

HaHaHaHaHa!!! Good one!

Trish said...

Meh, I knew HL wasn't going to be nominated this year because of the stats.

(Although, if you look as his personal numbers, you could easily argue that he did better this year than in years that he WAS nominated. Also, it's not his fault no one on the team can score - his win total would have been much higher with one extra goal here or there. And, um, obviously he'd have better SV% and GAA if his team helped him out. Better D would equal fewer quality shots on him, and therefore fewer goals. Plus a higher sv% because he wouldn't have so many tricky shots to deal with. So stick HL in net for the Devils, and would he have even better numbers than BFM? Very possibly, but I guess we'll never know...)

I still have a tiny bit of (highly delusional) hope that he could get a Hart nomination, but I'm not counting on it. Sigh.

*BFM = big fat Marty :)

christine said...

It's not fair that a goalie is nominated based on his team. Prime example of unfairness is Hank's situation. It just sucks. He should be nominated for the Vezina every year and the Hart for every year he's with the Rangers. But since the Rangers suck so bad Hank is pulled down with them. There's only so much a goalie can do though without an uzi hidden in a pad. LOL

Trish said...

Except they're not really nominated based on team. It's largely stats; it's just that the stats are inevitably a byproduct of the team in front of the goalie. Fair? Maybe not, but there's not really a way to correct for or account for that.

If only there were a specific GAA handicap for each player... "So Hank, you has a lot to deal with on D. Here's what we're gonna do: Redden = .5 off GAA, Roszival = .4 off GAA. What, you say Gaborik had more than twice as many goals as anyone else? Plus 5 in the wins column!" etc. etc. :) Then HL would win things.

Henrik Lundqvist Fan Blog said...

love this picture with the pucks! :)

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