Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I got to thinking the other day, never a good sign, and realized that Henrik has been in the United States since 2005, and in New York state since that year also, but I bet he has not truly experienced some things that are all American. Here are the 10 Things Henrik Lundqvist has probably never done yet. And should.
1. Gone bowling. That bastion of blue collar fun, those stinky god awful bowling shoes, the difficult to manage sport when you've had a few would be an ideal place for Henrik and fellow NY Rangers to hang out for a night. I'm not saying Henrik should join a bowling league or anything (it would conflict with the NY Rangers games) but he definitely needs to experience it. At least once. Especially in a bowling team shirt from the 70s picked up at a used clothing store.
2. Gone shopping at Walmart. For some crazy reason, I don't think Henrik has stepped foot in a Walmart. And that is a crying shame. It is such an American institution. The people that shop there are even famous, though with Hank's fashion sense I don't think he needs to be worried about showing up on that website. I think we need to make a shopping list for Henrik when he goes to Walmart so that he visits as many sections as possible. And Avery should go with him to document the experience in photos. Can you see them running into Ovechkin and Crosby at Walmart? I bet it's their favorite store.
3. Rode a mechanical bull. Found in any good honky tonk, it's fun after you sign a waiver. It may look easy, but lasting 8 seconds on that bull on level 1 gets real hard after the 1st second. Trust me on this. I managed to make it by the skin of my teeth! I'd also love to see Henrik wear a cowboy hat. Yummy!
4. Gone line dancing. Also at a country bar. Since country music is quite American, I think it's about time Henrik learned the steps to Boot Scootin Boogie. He needs cowboy boots, that yummy blue/white plaid shirt, tight Tiger of Sweden jeans and the black cowboy hat. Alex Ovechkin can tag along.
5. Watched a movie at a drive in theater. Can't you just see him snuggling down with a bag of Funions, his arm around Therese watching Slap Shot in the Maserati while smacking mosquitoes? Awwwww. Drive ins really are lots of fun. Even if the kid in the car next to you pukes. Repeatedly.
6. Gone snipe hunting. I know the Swedes are peaceful now, though they used to be vicious vikings, but this is one hunt that Henrik could stomach. The snipes are stupid birds that come out at night. They are so easy to catch all you need to do is wander around with a flashlight and the snipe will walk right to you where you can shove a bag over it and catch it. I'm pretty sure Avery will be more than happy to bring a 6 pack and take Henrik snipe hunting. I hope he video tapes it too. LOL Never heard of snipe hunting? Read up on it here but don't let Henrik see!
7. Bought over $100 worth of fireworks for the 4th of July. Nothing says you're American like buying shit and blowing it up. You're also not a true American till you've spent over $100 in one day on fireworks. Henrik has been here for several years, it's time for him to experience this great and wondrous of national holidays. Especially since he plays for a team with Lady Liberty as the mascot.
8. Eaten barbeque in the Deep South. I don't know if Henrik ever gets to wander around much when they travel, but the next time he's down South for a game, he needs to drive way out, past the run down trailers at the side of the highway with two satellite dishes (true story), past the old plantations with confederate flags still waving (true story) and eat some good barbeque at a side of the road place. There's nothing like it!
Henrik and his buddies are ready for some cow tipping!
9. Gone cow tipping. Nothing to do between NHL games in the midwest? Go cow tipping! Henrik should take several teammates with him for this fun experience. I'm sure the only leather he's ever touched has not actually still been on the cow, so this could be a new experience for him. Never mind the actual pushing over of the sleeping cow. Best done after imbibing some beverages. Again, someone has to tape this. Hopefully Henrik will be wearing his cowboy boots (watch out for the cow pies) and cowboy hat for this fun and bonding activity. LOL
10. No idea. I just didn't want a list of 9. LOL If you've got any ideas leave them in the comments!