10 Things Henrik Lundqvist Has Never Done

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

20100222-happy henrik
I got to thinking the other day, never a good sign, and realized that Henrik has been in the United States since 2005, and in New York state since that year also, but I bet he has not truly experienced some things that are all American. Here are the 10 Things Henrik Lundqvist has probably never done yet. And should.

1. Gone bowling. That bastion of blue collar fun, those stinky god awful bowling shoes, the difficult to manage sport when you've had a few would be an ideal place for Henrik and fellow NY Rangers to hang out for a night. I'm not saying Henrik should join a bowling league or anything (it would conflict with the NY Rangers games) but he definitely needs to experience it. At least once. Especially in a bowling team shirt from the 70s picked up at a used clothing store.

2. Gone shopping at Walmart. For some crazy reason, I don't think Henrik has stepped foot in a Walmart. And that is a crying shame. It is such an American institution. The people that shop there are even famous, though with Hank's fashion sense I don't think he needs to be worried about showing up on that website. I think we need to make a shopping list for Henrik when he goes to Walmart so that he visits as many sections as possible. And Avery should go with him to document the experience in photos. Can you see them running into Ovechkin and Crosby at Walmart? I bet it's their favorite store.

3. Rode a mechanical bull. Found in any good honky tonk, it's fun after you sign a waiver. It may look easy, but lasting 8 seconds on that bull on level 1 gets real hard after the 1st second. Trust me on this. I managed to make it by the skin of my teeth! I'd also love to see Henrik wear a cowboy hat. Yummy!

Garden of Dreams Spokesperson Henrik Lundqvist

4. Gone line dancing. Also at a country bar. Since country music is quite American, I think it's about time Henrik learned the steps to Boot Scootin Boogie. He needs cowboy boots, that yummy blue/white plaid shirt, tight Tiger of Sweden jeans and the black cowboy hat. Alex Ovechkin can tag along.

5. Watched a movie at a drive in theater. Can't you just see him snuggling down with a bag of Funions, his arm around Therese watching Slap Shot in the Maserati while smacking mosquitoes? Awwwww. Drive ins really are lots of fun. Even if the kid in the car next to you pukes. Repeatedly.

6. Gone snipe hunting. I know the Swedes are peaceful now, though they used to be vicious vikings, but this is one hunt that Henrik could stomach. The snipes are stupid birds that come out at night. They are so easy to catch all you need to do is wander around with a flashlight and the snipe will walk right to you where you can shove a bag over it and catch it. I'm pretty sure Avery will be more than happy to bring a 6 pack and take Henrik snipe hunting. I hope he video tapes it too. LOL Never heard of snipe hunting? Read up on it here but don't let Henrik see!

7. Bought over $100 worth of fireworks for the 4th of July. Nothing says you're American like buying shit and blowing it up. You're also not a true American till you've spent over $100 in one day on fireworks. Henrik has been here for several years, it's time for him to experience this great and wondrous of national holidays. Especially since he plays for a team with Lady Liberty as the mascot.

8. Eaten barbeque in the Deep South. I don't know if Henrik ever gets to wander around much when they travel, but the next time he's down South for a game, he needs to drive way out, past the run down trailers at the side of the highway with two satellite dishes (true story), past the old plantations with confederate flags still waving (true story) and eat some good barbeque at a side of the road place. There's nothing like it!

20100222-Henrik Lundqvist Push nightclub
Henrik and his buddies are ready for some cow tipping!

9. Gone cow tipping. Nothing to do between NHL games in the midwest? Go cow tipping! Henrik should take several teammates with him for this fun experience. I'm sure the only leather he's ever touched has not actually still been on the cow, so this could be a new experience for him. Never mind the actual pushing over of the sleeping cow. Best done after imbibing some beverages. Again, someone has to tape this. Hopefully Henrik will be wearing his cowboy boots (watch out for the cow pies) and cowboy hat for this fun and bonding activity. LOL

10. No idea. I just didn't want a list of 9. LOL If you've got any ideas leave them in the comments!

9 comments:

Carol (José Théodore Blog) said...

Hahaha!! Good job...I'll have to try to come up with another one....can't think right now.

Oh, hey...how about gone to a Fall Festival? Like we have an Apple Festival around here...or Pig Days...he could eat an elephant ear and drink a lemonade shake-up!! And see a parade!! Can't beat crappy high school marching bands (I played snare drum in one, so I know.)

That's the best I can do for now. ;o)

Anna said...

Haha, great list! It would really, really, really surprise me if Henrik has never gone bowling though. I see it as a less than 1% chance. Bowling halls are all over the place here and I don't know a single human being who has never done it. He must have done it sometime, as a kid, a teenager or grown up.

Can see a good chance that he has bought over 100 dollars in fireworks on one day too, just not on july 4th but on december 31st. Lots of kids do that.

But besides those, great list haha.

Trish said...

Hmm, I don't know about all of these. I can see him having done some. Like bowling? I don't know for sure about the Rangers, but the AHL team I grew up near would have bowling events where the players bowled with people from either the fan club, or the season ticket holders group, or something. I can see him having done something like that, maybe as part of Garden of Dreams with the sick kids.

Mechanical bull, line dancing, and BBQ, Walmart? I dunno, Joel did live in Texas/Iowa... Maybe he went to visit and they got up to some twin shenanigans.

With Voros and Avery, I can see them having blown up a crap ton of fireworks for no reason. Although they are illegal in NY, so it couldn't have been when they had their fun out in the Hamptons...

And cow tipping? Didn't they live in the ass-end of nowhere Sweden before they moved for hockey/tennis? Again, I can totally see some shenanigans involving 10-year old twin boys and cows, lol.

Don't mean to burst your bubble, lol, but I guess I figured he COULD have done a bunch of those things. Or maybe I just have an overactive imagination :p

I know one thing he's definitely never done, and that's make an effort to meet me. And for that, I am deeply hurt. Are you reading, Hank? ;)

MISTY said...

LOL - Trish you are a Master @ Writing.

twin shenanigans -Hahaha that cracks me up. Now That I can invision.


Honestly. I don't HENKE Doing anything on that list. Except for Maybe playing bowling with sick for charity(like Trish Said).


"And cow tipping? Didn't they live in the ass-end of nowhere Sweden before they moved for hockey/tennis?"


Henke grew up in Are, Sweden. popular for ski and hockey.

Not sure if they have cows up there,But it would be funny as hell to see Henke tip a sleeping cow. Hahaha

Trish said...

Someone in Sweden thinks Hank isn't Joel's only twin :) http://www.hockeysverige.se/blogg_show_joel-lundqvists-andra-tvilling.html?id=10567587

Not sure about the comparison in the article, but Joel does look like he's trying to grow his hair longer a la his actual twin.

Carol (José Théodore Blog) said...

Oh no...I don't want Joel to do the Henrik-do as well. Don't do it, Joel!! Stay young! You're only 28!

Anonymous said...

OK. I've lived in NY my whole life. I'm 37 and the only thing on that list I've done was gone bowling. He's probably seen more of NY than I have.

christine said...

The only ones I haven't done is 6 and 9. I'm sure Henrik has seen parts of NY the non VIPs will never see! I'm jealous he gets to eat out all the time and drive such awesome cars. But he works damn hard for the money!

Anonymous said...

Just popping in to say nice site.

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